The Bonus Army

On July 28^th 1932 U.S. Army troops under the command of General Douglas MacArthur, Dwight D. Eisenhower and George S. Patton (The Harlem Globetrotters of American War Generals) attacked and burned an encampment of unemployed WWI Veterans Camped out around the capital. And just like the Harlem Globetrotters they proceeded to win while showboating all kinds of fancy shots and pulling down the pants of their opponents.  

The Unemployed soldiers called themselves the Bonus Army because they were demanding the war bonuses promised to them and because America was short on money during the depression, but not on ironic names and reasons to be unemployed.

I guess it's hard to get a job in the private sector when your last job lasted from 1914-1918 and job description included Avenging the Lusitania and trench foot. 

The eviction of the encamped soldiers was ordered by President Hoover, a president so terrible they renamed shanty towns after him and a Vacuum. I'm assuming the inventors were like “Hey this thing really sucks, what can we call it? Oh remember the president that inspired the Grapes of Wrath and gave us the Dust Bowl? Yeah lets name it after that guy. So we he used the new army to attack the old army because, hey when you've got two armies one of them is just at...BONUS!

July 24th 1945 Postdam Conference

"Stalin is a Devil like Tyrant leading a vile system"-Winston Churchill

"I just have a hunch that Stalin is not that kind of man and I think that if I give him everything I possibly can and ask for nothing from him, in return he won't try to annex anything and will work with me for world peace and democracy"-Franklin Delanore Roosevelt

"I trust no one, not even myself"-Joseph Stalin

July 24, 1945 - At the conclusion of the Potsdam Conference in Germany, Winston Churchill (shadowed by Clement Atlee the soon to be Prime Minister of England), Harry Truman and China's representatives issued a demand for unconditional Japanese surrender. The Japanese, unaware the demand was backed up by an Atomic bomb, rejected the Potsdam Declaration on July 26.

Clearly Roosevelt and Stalin had gone through some sort of John Woo style face off scenario before Roosevelt was killed in a knife fight with the fake FDR on a speed boat while churchill was drunk and not really invited back.When the Postdam conference sent Japan the ultimatum of "Surrender or meet prompt and utter destruction" the Japanese turned off all the lights and closed the blinds in hopes that the other nations would think that no one was home. But china had clearly seen them through the kitchen window and Japan was Bombed so hard they went forward in time and would later destroy the US auto industry with their robots from the future.
  Thus leaving Harry S. Truman, Clement Attlee and Stalin who clearly told them that "the paperwork must have been lost in the shuffle but I swear the other dudes said I could have most of Europe". And that's this week in history.